HOW TO BE CLASSY...
- Choose your battles; choose your friends. Few battles are truly worth fighting. Stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves (mentally disabled, animals, children, etc). Be wary of those who appear to enjoy bickering. If someone is rude to you, either ignore them completely (recommended) or, once you have completely calmed down and are thinking clearly, explain how you perceived their actions and work towards a resolution. Never stoop to their level, and do not be hasty. Surround yourself with positive, polite people who encourage and live your classy, intelligent lifestyle.
- Choose your words. The classy individual listens more than he or she speaks. Having a strong vocabulary is important, but do not use a word unless you are certain of its meaning. Use words to express yourself lucidly. Importantly, do not correct others when they use improper grammar. Differences in background, family life, and education cause people to speak differently, and often people use slang for effect. More than this, it is irritating and degrading to be corrected by a know-it-all.
- Do not insult, gossip, or slander. When necessary, voice your opinions appropriately and constructively. This encourages your audience to listen carefully when you speak.
- Be independent. You must be courteous, but do not bend over backwards to please others. If you do, you may find yourself being taken advantage of in the future. Limit your time and availability and draw boundaries with others so that they are aware of your limits.
- Break the stereotype shackles. More often than not, using labels in any way, whether to identify yourself or others, shows a lack of creativity, lethargic social skills, and a lack of careful observation. Give everyone respect and the benefit of the doubt.
- Be assertive. Avoid passive-aggressive thinking; this is likely to trip you up eventually. Assertiveness demonstrates maturity, thoughtfulness, and confidence. Class requires balance, and assertiveness is a prime example of this concept.
- Define yourself with a clean and elegant look. Excellent presentation is half of the battle. Wear clothing and accessories which flatter your body and never wear anything you feel uncomfortable in. It is important to remember that modesty is key in earning the respect of others. A bit of cleavage may be fashionable, but true gentlemen will appreciate modesty more than exposure.
- Avoid getting caught up in trends. There is nothing wrong with enjoying fashion or buying clothing you find attractive, but it is important to stay in control.
- Do not become a slave to fashion, or you may be regarded as foolish, "high maintenance", and/or shallow. The clothing you wear should enhance your personality, not create or alter it. This advice can be applied to many aspects of life in which you may feel pressured to "fit in."
- Know when to ask for help, but avoid desperate behaviour. This is the kiss of death for the classy person. Only desperate times call for desperate measures. Take a deep breath, be strong, and move through the situation with elegance and grace. You will be the victor for it, no matter the outcome. If things get out of hand and you feel completely overwhelmed, ask for help from a close friend or family member.
- Seek wisdom. As difficult as it can be to heed the advice of those more experienced than yourself, it is a necessary step at times. No matter your age or ability, allow yourself to learn from the mistakes and victories of those older or more experienced than you. You will win their favor and be available to pass on your own wisdom or advice.
- Be open to personal development. Do not berate yourself, but be receptive to constructive change. In our world, change is inevitable. Be a positive and flexible part of it and show others the way as well. Face life rather than burying your head in the sand and others will know instinctively that you are someone whose opinion counts.
- Carefully consider tattoos and piercings. Let's face it: it is easy to judge by appearance. Therefore, take careful consideration when deciding if it is a good idea for you to get visible tattoos or body piercings. Even though a person’s outward appearance does not automatically show his or her inner qualities, appearances can reflect how a person is willing to be perceived by the world.
- Job opportunities may be limited by such an expression. Also keep in mind that although tattoos and piercings are expressions of individuality, they can be permanent or difficult (even costly) to remove. If you are in doubt about how a tattoo or piercing will impact you in the future, find another way to express yourself.
- Be knowledgeable and aware. It is wise to become politically, culturally, and religiously aware. Even the most basic knowledge can save a person from embarrassment and awkwardness. If you know in advance that you will be spending time with someone of an unfamiliar background, it is a good idea to do more in-depth research to avoid embarrassing faux pas.
- Be responsible. Classy people leave their surroundings in a condition at least as good as they found them. Unless they are in a restaurant with wait staff whose job it is to do the clearing up, classy people insist on taking care of their own trash and baggage, not expecting others to pick up after them. And when others do favors for them, while stuck-up or spoiled people assume it's only to be expected and ignore others' assistance, truly classy people are quick to notice and to express their gratitude and their appreciation.
- Be considerateTruly classy people instincively recoil at the thought of inconveniencing others, offending them, getting in other peoples' way, or in any way making nuisances of themselves. Classy people are all about minding their own business when among strangers and putting others at ease when in social situations. Truly classy people are gracious and affable to everyone, whether the CEO, the mail carrier, or the custodian. Classy people know others' names and use them when greeting people they see regularly, whether the doorman, the security guard, or the boss' wife. Classy people treat everyone the same - with courtesy and respect.

IS HE the ONE? The Right One ?
First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it's made on an emotional one.
"What about love? Shouldn't that be the third? you ask. No, and I'll tell you why. "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9).
The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point it in the right direction: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life" (Proverbs 4:23)! Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.
Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage.
Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing together.
Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage.
But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather these facts.
1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is your potential spouse a member of the same family - the family of God?
You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues.
You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together.
Furthermore, does he want to get married? I f you want to be married and your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time.
Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he's not going in your direction, get off the bus and wait for the right one.
2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends.
Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22).
Note -who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them together
At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib.
You do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy!
Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested.
Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him.
As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: "We love him because he first loved us" (1 John 4:19 ). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself.
You need only one man - your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the man voices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.
3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart . A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a suitable lover for you.
4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, ch eck out the rest of the body!
5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.
6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut. Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present family situation.
7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom? Broken relationships? Problems in making commitments --including the job market? Mood swings? Is a problem always someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.
8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn't need help until he is busy doing what he was created and called to do. I s the man in your life guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life.
A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he want s you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever.
Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you with. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to complement.
9. Complimentary. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts, compliment yours? What about your temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way?
This is why knowing your purpose is so important :
Make sure your heartsbeat for mutual causes. When I go shopping I always consider the fabric,the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a complimentary addition to what I already have? If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition.
If the man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong.
This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional or physically? Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forf eit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel-because of you he is getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for love, is too expensive!
God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.
10. Does he have a healthy love and acceptance of himself? Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you. A man's relationship with God is crucial here. This is not something that you can impart.
You cannot be his savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship with Christ.
If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize y our walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your commitment to God, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit, when the fo rce of your love for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive.
So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man? Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the cost for what they truly desired.
The truth of the matter is everyone knows that anything worth having, costs and no one gets a ride in this life for free.
Our prayer: Dear Heavenly Father God, I confess that I have not always been as careful as I should've been with my heart. From time to time, my desire for love has caused me to leave my heart in the wrong hands. I now commit my heart into Your hands for safekeeping. Please help me to stop being so impulsive with what you deem so precious. As I learn to celebrate Your love for me, let me learn from Your example what a bridegroom should really be like. Help me to never settle for less than what you desire for me. As I embrace You as the Lover of my soul, keep my affections in the haven of Your own heart. As I rest in Your love, make me more discriminating of those who approach me. I ask that You take over this area of my life. Keep me from those you know would hurt my heart. I invite You to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who would draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to the mate that You have selected for me. Grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me. Cleanse me from the temptation to typecast the men I meet according to what I see. Help me to trust in Your knowledge and lean not on my own understanding. I know that You know what is best for me; therefore I yield to Your choice. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
.. It is something to think about, When you ask is "He" the one! | |
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LAURYN HILL
[Singing Chorus] Everybody knows that they're guilty Everybody knows that they've lied Everybody knows that they're guilty Resting on their conscience eating their inside It's freedom, said it's freedom time now It's freedom, said it's freedom time now Time to get free, oh give yourselves up now It's freedom, said it's freedom time
[First and only verse] Yo, there's a war in the mind, over territory For the dominion Who will dominate the opinion Skisms and isms, keepin' us in forms of religion Conformin' our vision To the world churches decision Trapped in a section Submitted to committee election Moral infection Epedemic lies and deception Insurrection Of the highest possible order Destortin' our tape recorders From here and like under water Beyond the borders Fond of sin and disorder Bound by the strategy It's systematic deprivaty Heavy as gravity Head first in the cavity Without a bottom A fate worse than Sodom What's got 'em Drunk of the spirits Truth comes, we can't hear it When you've been, programmed to fear it I had a vision I was fallin' in indescision Apollin', callin' religion Some program on television How can dominant wisdom Be recognized in the system Of Anti-Christ, the majority rules Intelligent fools PhD's in illusion Masters of mass confusion Bachelors in past illusion Now who you choosin' The head or the tail The bloodshed of male Or confidance in the veil Conferences of Yale Discussin' doctrines of Baal Causin' people to fail Keepin' the third in jail His word has nailed Everything to the tree Severing all of me from all that I used to be Formless and void Totally paranoid Enjoy darkness as the Lord Keepin' me from the sword Blocked from mercy Bitter than cerasee Hungry and thirsty For good meat we would eat And still, dined at the table of deceit How incomplete From confrontation to retreat We prolong the true enemies defeat Destitute a necessity Causin' desperation to get the best of me Punishment 'til there was nothing left of me Realizin' the unescapable death of me No options in the valley of decision The only doctrine, supernatural circumcision Inwardly only water can purge the heart From words, the fiery darts Thrown by the workers of the arts Iniquity, shapen in There's no escapin' when You're whole philosophy is paper thin In vanity The wide road is insanity Could it be all of humanity? Picture that Scripture that The origin of man's heart is black How can we show up for An invisible war Preoccupied with a shadow, makin' love with a whore Achin' in sores Babylon, the great mystery Mother of human history System of social sorcery Our present condition Needs serious recognition Where there's no repentance there can be no remission And that sentence, more serious than Vietnam The atom bomb, and Saddam, and Minister Farakkhan What's goin' on, what's the priority to you by what authority do we do the majority hasn't a clue We majored in curses Search the chapters, check the verses Recapture the land Remove the mark from off of our hands So we can stand In agreement with his command Everything else is damned Let them with ears understand Everything else is damned, let them with ears understand
[Singing Chorus] It's freedom, said it's freedom time now It's freedom, said it's freedom time now It's freedom, I'ma be who I am It's freedom time, said it's freedom time Everybody knows that they've lied Everybody knows that they've perpetrated inside Everybody knows that they’re guilty, yes Resting on their conscience eating their insides Get free, be who you're suppost to be Freedom, said it's freedom time now Freedom, said it's freedom time Freedom, freedom time now
BY LAURYN HILL : "Oh Jerusalem"
Oh Jerusalem yeah, oh Jerusalem, oh Jerusalem, oh Jerusalem...
Realizing that there's no place else to go And there's nobody I know who can help me Text book solutions are so improbable Cause everybody else is just as empty Naked as the day that I was born, I tried to hide ...behind education and philosophy Hopeless explanation to describe a situation I can't see because the world's on top of me Oh wretched man that I am, who will deliver me From the body of this death Freeing me from dust, and the superficial trust Of an enemy that seeks to take my breath Failing to connect, cause I'm morally defect By reason of the God inside my head Causing me to see, only what pertains to me Believing I'm alive when I'm still dead Limited to earth, unable to find out my worth Cause I... can't see past my own vanity If I'm not included, then I just have to remove it From my mind because it has to be in sanity Oh wretched man that I am, who will deliver me From the body of this death Can I even factor, that I've only been an actor In this staged interpretation of this day Focused on the shadow, with my back turned to the light Too intelligent to see it's me in the way What a paradox, having God trapped in a box All this time professing to be spiritual Naturally pretending, that I'm actually defending God through my facade don't need material
Oh Jerusalem, wash thy heart from wickedness That thou may be saved from thy deception How long, shall thy face those lies within thee Oh Jerusalem, keeping thee from perfection
Submit to truth, leave the deception of thy youth So we could walk in the council of authority Forget the proof, our generation so aloof Only follow in the steps of the majority Trust in the Lord, with all thy heart And lay not to thine, oh an understanding in all thy ways Acknowledge Him, and He shall correct our paths Be not wise in thine own eyes and you can follow him We judge and condemn, just as ignorant as them Who religion tells us that we should ignore Perpetrating we're in covenant with Him Exposed by the very things that we adore We grin and shake hands, then lay ambush for the man Who has a different point of view then us Infuriated cause he doesn't understand Bringing up those things we don't want to discuss Why still do evil, we don't know how to do good Walking on in darkness running from the light, ey Led to believe, because we live in neighborhoods Telling us what's going on will be alright Oh so repressed, so convinced that I was blessed When I played with my game of Monopoly Oh to suggest, that my life is still a mess Who reveal the pride I'm hiding is what's stopping me
Oh Jerusalem, wash thy heart from wickedness That thou may be saved from thy deception How long, shall thy face those lies within thee Oh Jerusalem keeping them from perfection
Abide in me and I in you, as the branch cannot bare ...fruit of itself except in the vine I am the vine, ye are the branches, He's in live in me And I in him, the same bring forth much fruit Without me, you can do nothing Oh Jerusalem, you're traditions have deceived you I've chosen you, you haven't chosen me Do whatsoever, you asking my name he may give to you But in vain they call my name teaching doctrines just the same Justified among themselves But God know with the heart, what man esteemed as smart Is an abomination to Emmanuel Just repent, turn from selfish motivation So iniquity will not cause your demise Make you a new heart and a new spirit ...for why would he die Oh Jerusalem, please tell me why I have no pleasure in the death of him to die Says the Lord God where forth turn yourselves and live It's not the talkers, but the walkers and his word Are the only ones the Father will forgive
Oh Jerusalem, wash thy heart from wickedness That thou may be saved from thy deception How long, shall thy face those lies within thee Oh Jerusalem, providing you no protection
Oh Jerusalem...
BY LAUREN HILL
(adam is refering to all of humanity) Adam lives in theory Trying to turn stone into bread Masquerading like he got it figured out Cut off from the sunshine, only smart in his own head Leaving his descendants to hope and doubt Left to his devices, those worthless sacrifices Praying to the alter of himself Making pilgrimages, thinking he's religious Like he's got all the light, and no one else
He takes the unsuspected Cuz he knows they're not connected And he shows them how to be just as he is Virtually real, and commercially appeal To the lust of all the people where he lives
Eve was so naive, blinded by the pride and greed Wanting to be intellectual Drifting from the way she got turned down one day And now she thinks that she's bisexual
Caught up in emotion Burning up in her devotion To the king of exploitation in the field She handed him her virtue Cuz he told her "I won't hurt you" So she lay with him to see how good it feels
Now can you tell me, what, what we gonna do now Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now Now can you tell me, what, what we gonna do now Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now
Now after the sensation, and the empty fornication She brought infection home into her bed, quickly multiplying Now the 3 of them are dying by the poison she perceived to be good head Now Eve and her husband, perverted in their judgment Cuz everything appears to be the same They entertain suggestions, Next time just use protection Desiring to cover up their shame
But much to their demise, poor decision closed their eyes To the very antidote to their dilemma Burning in their lust, Both of them, adulterous Destroying the original agenda Praying to the sky, in order to maintain a lie They exhausted every possible conclusion, They can't even entertain the solution in a brain filled with vain information and pollution
Hiding from the truth, He provided an excuse to explain away his desperate situation When confronted, blamed his wife Giving birth to carnal life Refusing to acknowledge what he'd done
Now if we can agree with who created us to be Who says we're guilty everyone before his eyes Making no exceptions, since the day of our conception Predisposed to hating truth, and loving lies
Then can you tell me, what, what we gonna do now Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now Then can you tell me, what, what we gonna do now Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now
Stop walking in pride, let the thief be crucified Un-learn everything you know, and let him teach you Line upon line, precept upon precept, say goodbye, To this decaying social system He wants to know, how far we're willing to go If we love him like we say we do, He will try us
Just you don't regress, Or slip into hopelessness Once he's satisfied his love, He won't deny us,
And then he'll tell us, What, what we gonna do now Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now
And then he'll tell us, What, what we gonna do now Where we gonna go now, what we gonna say now
BY LAURYN HILL
"So Much Things To Say"
Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yey Why, why, why, why, why, why, why Why, Why, heh They've got so much things to say right now They've got so much things to say They've got so much things to say right now They've got so much things to say I'll never forget no way, how they crucified Jesus Christ I'll never forget no way, how they sold Marcus Garvey for rice I'll never forget no way, how they turned their back on Paul Bogle So don't you forget no way... Who you are, and where you stand in the struggle They've got so much things to say right now They've got so much things to say They've got so very many things, to say right now They've got so much things to say I'n'I nah come to fight flesh and blood But spiritual wickedness in high and low places And don't you fight me down I'll stand firm, and give Jah all the thanks and praises I don't expect to be justified, by these laws of men Though the we can find me guilty, Jah will proove my innocency Cuz when the rain falls, it don't, fall on one man's house top Remember that See when this rain falls, it don't, fall on one man's house top They've got so much things to say right now They've got so much, so much things to say They've got, heh, so much things to say right now They've got so, so much things to say But let them keep talking, oh let them keep talking Cuz non of them walking, oh non of them walking, no And while they still talking, see I'ma be walking I'ma be walking, so let them keep talking Said I never forget no way, how they crucified Jesus Christ And I, I'll never forget, how they sold Marcus Garvey for rice Said I, never forget, how they turned their backs on Paul Bogle So non of you, non of you forget... Who you are, and where you stand in the struggle Cuz when this rain, cuz when this rain, rain, rain, rain, rain falls It don't fall on one man's house, I'm telling you the rain... I'm telling you the rain, rain, rain, rain, rain don't fall It don't fall... they... They've got, they've got, so many very things to say about me I'm telling you: lie They, and they, and they will have so many things They'll have so many things to say about you... to say about you Cuz they don't know me, know me They don't know me, oh they don't know me, oh they don't know me Oh they don't know me well They, they, they, they, they, they, they don't know my Father Cuz if they did, if they did... hey ey... theeey... heh
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